My Hands Tremble

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I'm supposed to blend into society,
just another cog in the wheel of existence.
But I can't; I won't; I'm not one of them.

In public I pretend I can handle everything.

But I'm not like them. I'm not.

Outside of their perception my hands tremble,
I feel too much, I want to take something sharp
and substitute pain for pain.

The thoughts inside my head are loud. Deafening.

I don't understand how they cope. Are they stronger?
Do they not feel what I feel?

The pressure behind my eyes is extreme. Sometimes
I see the future. It disturbs me.

I try to breathe slowly. Do others feel this? How
could they? Do they hurt themselves? Why don't
they?

My hands tremble. Please save me. Please.